Ever wonder why you’re magnetized to that person you just met? Sure, they’re attractive and sweet, but there’s an inexplicable spark in the space between you two that makes you swoon!

In this first video of a four-part series on relationships, psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey breaks down some of the psychological nuts and bolts of what makes us attracted to the people we want to date. He also mentions the unique challenges that gay men and queer people overall face, and how insight into what otherwise has been chalked up to “magic” can help our relationships in the long run.