Coming Out

Useful Coming Out Information, Links, Stories and Tips

 

 

BBC Radio 1 Coming Out Guide

Tomato: "I've got something to tell you... I'm not really a vegetable!"

If you’re thinking of ‘coming out’ about your sexuality, it can be a daunting prospect when you’re unsure of how people will respond. I’ve got something to tell you…

Lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) people may ‘come out’ many times throughout their lives, whenever they meet new people.

But the first time you consciously tell people you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender can be daunting, especially if it’s close friends or family members.

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Empty Closets Coming Out Guide – Coming out resources and a safe place to chat

 

Here’s a handy reference that examines the common stages that a person typically goes through when coming out as lesbian, gay or bisexual. It is important to realize that everyone is unique and not everyone will follow these stages exactly how they are presented here. It is perfectly normal for a person to go through these stages in a different order or to even skip entire stages. It is also very common for a person to be going through multiple stages at one time. Stage One – Identity Question, Stage Two – Internal Identity Acceptance and Education, Stage Three – Support, Stage Four – Pride, Stage Five – Relationships, Stage Six – Telling the Family and Stage Seven – Balance.

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Huff Post Gay Voices – The Parent Crap: 10 Tips for Coming Out

 

For most people who are struggling to come out, way up at the top of “Life’s Most Dreaded Moments” is uttering, “Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you: I’m gay.” For many parents, it’s not exactly the moment they’ve always dreamed about, either. Reactions from parents can range from, “Not if you want to continue being my son, you’re not,” to, “Duh, we’ve known since you were 6 and could sing ‘Over the Rainbow’ from start to finish.” Here are 10 tips to consider as you plan what to say. 1. Consider the timing. 2. Determine whether this is the right time. 3. Be in a good place in your life. 4. Be realistic and anticipate what their reactions will be. 5. Arm yourself with answers ahead of time. 6. Be ready for the “hellfire and damnation” argument. 7. Stay calm, even if your parents aren’t. 8. Their approval or permission is not required. 9. Know when and how to make your exit. 10. In the end, know that they love you.

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R U Coming Out – Coming Out Stories

 

Real life coming out stories from gay, lesbian and bisexual people – inspiring and supporting worldwide.

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Human Rights Campaign – A Resource Guide to Coming Out

 

 

Gurl’s 8 Tips On Coming Out To Your Parents If They’re Super Close-Minded and Strict

 

I was raised in a very open household. My mom and I talked about everything from sex, to periods, to drugs. She always told me I could come to her with anything, so I did… a lot. I think being so open with my mom really allowed me to become the person that I am today. I think it’s super important to have a close relationship with your parents and know that you can go to them with anything. At the end of the day, support from your parents is something that everyone needs. Especially, if you are a gay teen. I’d like to think that the world has come a long way in the acceptance of gay people. There is nothing wrong with loving and being sexually attracted to the same sex. It’s not a switch that you can turn off, and you certainly can’t choose to be gay. Your parents, close friends and family should be your support system when you decide to come out. They should have your back no matter what. But for some of you I know that this is not the case.

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OUT Magazine’s Six Tips for Coming Out to Your Parents

 

1) Choose a relaxed moment to have the conversation. It’s probably not a good idea to have this chat when the television is blaring or just after your mom or dad has yelled at your sister for not doing the dishes. At the same time, you don’t have to announce that you want to have a ‘serious conversation,’ if you feel that over-dramatizing the event is not comfortable for you. Trust your instincts about the proper moment.

2) You don’t have to tell both your parents at the same time. Sometimes it’s easier to have a conversation first with your mom, then your dad, or vice versa. The first conversation will give you some practice in coming out that may be useful for the second go-round.

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Psychology Today – Should You Come Out to Your Parents?

 

Now more than ever, gays and lesbians are coming out to their parents-and they’re doing it when they’re quite young. In the families I researched for the book Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child, kids came out to their parents, on average at age 17, with some coming out as young as 14. This is a good thing—a sign of progress—and it should be applauded. Indeed, it makes sense that gays and lesbians want to come out to their parents. Research findings suggest that for openly gay kids, having a good relationship with parents is good for their mental health and self-esteem, and may inoculate them from suicidal feelings, substance abuse, and risky sex.

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Safe Teens – Should I come out to my parents and how do I do it?

 

This is something only you can decide for yourself, and you need to consider a few things first. First think about your parents religious beliefs and views on homosexuality. It may give you some clues on how they will react. Then decide whether you really feel ready telling them, especially if their reaction may not be 100% positive.  Contemplate your motive for coming out and if you are simply questioning or if you are sure. Be prepared for them to be angry or in denial – it is only natural for them to be surprised or upset at your decision. There are resources online such as chat groups, Web sites, and discussion boards where you can gain the support of teens who already came out. Speaking with a psychologist, psychiatrist or family doctor can help you talk to your parents.

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Stonewall – The Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Charity – Coming Out information

 

The process of telling others about your sexuality (also known as ‘sexual orientation’) is often referred to as ‘coming out’. Coming out is not necessarily a one-off event – lesbians, gay men and bisexual people may have to come out many times during their lives. There is no one prescribed way to come out as lesbian, gay or bisexual. You may feel comfortable being open about your sexuality with some people, but not with others. Coming out to certain people, such as family, friends or colleagues, may be difficult and takes courage. Reactions to someone coming out can range from very positive, to less welcoming. Once you have made the decision to tell people about your sexuality, you may want to think about how you tell them. We have set out a few thoughts on coming out, and links to places you can contact if you want further advice and support.

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NHS Choices – Coming out if you’re gay, lesbian or bisexual

 

Coming out is when someone who is gay, lesbian or bisexual tells the people around them about their sexuality. This can be difficult and people may worry that others will treat them differently once they know. Even though it can be scary, most people feel that coming out is important as it means they can be honest about how they feel and not keep an important part of their life hidden.

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The Bisexual Index – Coming Out as Bisexual

 

Telling people that you are bisexual can seem a big step, but for many it’s a way to become comfortable with your sexuality and to stop feeling like you’re “hiding”.
But should you come out? And if you decide you should, who should you come out to, and how should you do it?

The first person you need to come out to, and perhaps the only person you really have to come out to, is yourself. Are you bisexual? When you come out to yourself it can be quite enlightening – being honest about who you are and who you’re attracted. It can feel like taking a load off of your shoulders. Take your time, look at what you feel and what feels right for you. There is no rush!

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Transgender Network – Coming Out Trans To Your Parents & Family

 

When you come out to your parents as a transgendered person, they need
to know that:
• You still love them.
• You are not doing this to hurt them.
• You’ve had these feelings since you were _________________ years old.
• You resisted coming out to yourself for _________________ years.
• You really struggled with it, but it wouldn’t go away; – it’s SUCH a compelling feeling!
• You are now pretty seriously considering (hormones/reassignment surgery/or ____________________.
• You have talked extensively with a counselor, met many other trans folks, have done some reading and/or at this point you believe ____________ about yourself.
• If/when you change your gender presentation, you will still be the same person inside in many ways.

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NHS Choices – Coming out for transgender people

 

Coming out can be a difficult process. Many transgender people worry about how other people will react and how they’ll treat them once they find out.

For many people, coming out means that they can be honest about how they feel and not hide that part of themselves.

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LGBT Youth – A Coming Out Guide for trans young people

 


Coming Out Stories

 

My Coming Out Story | Lucas

 

7 Coming Out Videos That’ll Melt Your Heart

 

Coming Out – Troye Sivan

 

 

Lucy: My Coming Out Story

 

 

Twins Coming Out to Parents Live